


Tonic

by FailureArtist



Series: Friendship & Stuff Cinematic Universe [19]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anal Sex, Cousin Incest, Cults, Emotional Manipulation, Human Sacrifice, Humanstuck, M/M, Marijuana Use, Office Sex, Oral Sex, Religious Abuse, Sex Strike, Unhealthy Relationships, sex denial, tattoo parlour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-28
Updated: 2020-01-28
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:28:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22443334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist
Summary: Late April 2018: Kurloz makes Gamzee an offer he cannot refuse.
Relationships: Gamzee Makara/Kurloz Makara, background KurLin, unrequited Gamzee Makara/Karkat Vantas - Relationship
Series: Friendship & Stuff Cinematic Universe [19]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1532495
Comments: 1
Kudos: 12





	Tonic

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Relationship between first cousins/adoptive parent-child. Discussion of past and future major character death. Discussion of future rape. Emotional manipulation. Marijuana use.

Kurloz could have taken a first-class flight from Chicago to Saginaw. Yet if he had, he wouldn’t have been able to present Gamzee with a huge package of weed he purchased on his trip. So Kurloz took a bus and Gamzee picked him up from the station. 

Though Kurloz would normally drive, Gamzee drove on the way back too. Gamzee hoped this would mean he could talk with Kurloz, specifically about Chicago. Gamzee loved Chicago, even though it wasn’t as important as Detroit. There was just something else special about it. So he kept listing possible places Kurloz could have visited in the Windy City, hoping for a cool story. Kurloz had said **YES** to Millennium Park but to everywhere else he said **NO.** Gamzee was running out of places. 

“The Leather Archive and Museum?”

**NO.**

“International Museum of Surgical Science?”

**NO.**

“American Girl Place?”

**PLEASE JUST DRIVE.**

Gamzee sighed. “All right.”

As they neared their house, Kurloz ordered a pizza: a Hawaiian from that place Gamzee loved. When they got to the house, the pizza arrived shortly after. It was miraculous timing. Yet though the pizza was delicious like always, Kurloz was surprisingly quiet. 

After dinner, Gamzee smoked the weed Kurloz got. It was a good strain. It was after the bong had been lit and Gamzee had done a few tokes that Kurloz really started talking. 

**WE ARE GOING TO KILL KARKAT VANTAS.**

Gamzee started coughing and when he stopped doing that he started laughing.

“What the fuck, bro?”

**I MEAN IT. DR. SCRATCH HIMSELF TOLD ME WE WILL KILL KARKAT VANTAS.**

“Why that motherfucker?”

**HE IS THE REINCARNATION OF THE HERETIC.**

“Naw, man, that ain’t…”

**YOU KNOW IT TO BE TRUE. YOU ALWAYS SAID HE WAS SPECIAL TO YOU.**

“I ain’t mean it that way.”

**LOOK INTO YOUR HEART. YOU KNOW IT’S TRUE.**

Gamzee coughed again. He had the sinking feeling it was true. He had thought before that maybe Karkat was also a reincarnated troll. Not a highblood or anything, but maybe a troll. He had thought that perhaps this was wishful thinking but now miracles do come true.

“Shiiiit…motherfucking true as true can be.”

**I KNEW YOU WOULD SEE THE LIGHT.**

“So by we…does this we mean me?”

**ARE YOU AGAINST DOING IT?**

“He be the Heretic…”

**YOU HAVE BEEN COMMUNICATING WITH HIM SINCE HIS PARENTS’ FUNERAL IN JANUARY.**

Gamzee looked down. He felt ashamed for some reason. 

“Yeah…a little bit.”

**EXCELLENT. WE ARRANGED THAT FUNERAL.**

“You killed his motherfuckin’ parents?”

**YES, AND YOU WOULDN’T WANT THE CHURCH’S EFFORTS TO BE IN VAIN, WOULD YOU?**

“When you put it that way, it sounds almost reasonable-like.”

Kurloz leaned in.

**HAVE YOU GROWN CLOSE TO THE HERETIC AGAIN?**

Gamzee’s heart was fluttering at the thought of his recent chats with his old high school friend. Yet even he had to admit the chats were not deep heart-to-heart meetings.

“He types up a storm about all sorts of nerdy movie shit.”

Maybe Gamzee was smiling too much because Kurloz had to ruin it.

**HAS HE ASKED YOU ABOUT TAVROS YET?**

Gamzee stopped smiling. “No. That motherfucker ain’t asked nothing about me.”

**I THOUGHT SO. HE IS NOT YOUR FRIEND.**

“He do too be my friend, just it be hard to be his friend when I know I hurt him.”

**YET IF HE DOESN’T KNOW YOU HURT HIM, WHAT WAS KEEPING HIM AWAY?**

“I…I ain’t knowing.”

**YOU WERE NEVER FRIENDS. I HAVE BEEN YOUR ONLY TRUE FRIEND SINCE YOU WERE BORN.**

“I know…I know Karkat be a fakey-fake friend…but even fakey-fake friends be important.”

**ARE YOU SAYING YOU DON’T WANT TO SACRIFICE THE HERETIC?**

“I ain’t saying he shouldn’t sacrificed up, but…do I gotta be the one to do it?”

**YES, YOU DO.**

“Well…do I have to do the killing blow or can I just be a helping hand?”

**HELPING HAND?**

“Yeah, just lure him to the spot…like you done did with the Helmsman. You lured and ran. You said you ain’t do the killing yourself.”

Kurloz suddenly got up and left the room. Gamzee sat dumbfounded. He passed the time by taking more tokes. The alarming news became less alarming as he did so, but this hash wasn’t making him an assassin. His answer was still no, if Kurloz ever came back.

Kurloz suddenly did come back.

**IF YOU DON’T KILL KARKAT VANTAS, I WILL NOT HAVE SEX WITH YOU EVER AGAIN.**

Gamzee looked at Kurloz’s angry face and started laughing uproariously. He was going to say “you could never go without my sweet ass” but he was laughing too hard to answer. Kurloz went upstairs before Gamzee could catch his breath to say anything. By the time Gamzee caught his breath, he didn’t care about answering Kurloz. 

Kurloz didn’t come back downstairs all evening. Gamzee watched TV as his high slowly wore off. He switched rapidly through the channels but sometimes he got to a news channel and it reminded him of his Family Responsibilities. Killing the Heretic would take everyone away from this cursed world and onto the Paradise Planet. Yet he’d just change the channel again and there would be a funny movie and he’d laugh. Paradise Planet could wait. 

Eventually, Gamzee turned off the TV and wandered upstairs. He went to Kurloz’s bedroom and twisted the doorknob and - he couldn’t. The door was locked. Since when had Kurloz locked his bedroom door? Gamzee kept trying to open the door, thinking maybe it was just a trick in the doorframe, but there was nothing. So he started banging on the door. Suddenly, Kurloz opened it. 

**NO SEX WITH YOU AGAIN.**

“You be serious, cuz??”

**I MEANT WHAT I SAID.**

“I ain’t even allowed to be in a motherfucker’s bedroom?”

**NO SEX, NO CUDDLING, NO SLEEPING, NO AFFECTION EVER AGAIN UNLESS YOU AGREE TO KILL KARKAT VANTAS.**

“But I will help!” The corner of Kurloz’s mouth turned up but Gamzee had to continue talking. “Like not the death blow or nothing but I can lure out him-”

Kurloz slammed the door shut on Gamzee. It felt like he was slamming Gamzee’s heart shut. Gamzee banged on the door.

“PLEASE JUST LET ME GET MY SLEEP ON WITH YOU! I AIN’T ABLE TO SLEEP WITHOUT YOU!”

Nothing. No matter how much he yelled, Kurloz made no noise back. Gamzee slid down to the floor and his tears slid down his face. He’d never felt this alone since the night after his momma died when he realized nobody would tuck him in anymore.

Yet he was not a child, he told himself. People said he was as dumb as a child but he wasn’t one. At twenty-two, he should know better. He got up and went downstairs to his old bedroom. It was really just a storage space now, but his bed was still there. He got all the boxes off of it, stripped down to his boxers, and laid on his bed. He looked up at the ceiling. 

Kurloz was up there, through the layers of stucco and insulation. Doing what, Gamzee did not know. Maybe he was jerking off. Gamzee hoped he wasn’t sleeping peacefully. 

Despite what Gamzee yelled, he could sleep without holding a motherfucker. He’d done it plenty of times before. That was his life before Kurloz came into his bedroom that one April day two years ago. Only two years? He’d been practically an orphan for much longer than that. He could survive this.

Kurloz wouldn’t be staying away forever, of course. He was always talking about his sex drive in whatever superlatives he could find in the thesaurus that day. Maybe Kurloz would come to him in the middle of the night and fuck him. He’d leave right afterwards but if Kurloz would just come to him for those few minutes Gamzee would be happy. 

Gamzee pulled the cord on the ceiling fan. There were still some glow-in-the-dark posters on the wall so the room wasn’t dark. He regretted that decorating choice right now. It was like he was all alone in church. The green jesters were mocking him. 

He tried closing his eyes but he couldn’t. He could only look at the ceiling. He could only think about Kurloz. If only this bed had another pillow but it was so rarely used it didn’t need any luxury. The sheets felt like they’d never felt human warmth and they smelled stale to boot. He took the flat pillow from his head and put it between his arms and legs. Squeezing the pillow tight couldn’t fill that hole in him. There had to be some trick to falling asleep when you’re alone that he’d forgotten because Kurloz had been his miracle. He had to make it.

He just knew he couldn’t be the one to kill Karkat Vantas. Seeing Karkat die before him would break his heart. He did not ask much from the Church, so couldn’t they grant him this one miracle? They granted it for Kurloz.

Gamzee fell into a half sleep, but he kept waking up and realizing what he held in his arms was a pillow. His night passed like that. 

Eventually, there was a knock. Gamzee sprung out of bed and opened the door. Kurloz was unfortunately fully-dressed in his Wicked Inks shirt but Gamzee was still hopeful he was there for some loving. Gamzee’s cock twitched. Kurloz leaned into Gamzee, but then stepped back.

_Time to get ready for work._

He then walked away. Gamzee sighed. He went across the hall to the bathroom and stripped for the shower. Looking in the mirror, he thought about how attractive he looked. His face, like always, was unfortunate but his body was shaping up well and between his legs he had that endowment Kurloz always loved grabbing and talking about. Would this be enough to tempt Kurloz? Yet Gamzee turned around and looked at his ass. Kurloz could do better and Gamzee knew very well he did. 

Gamzee went into the shower. He thought about rubbing one out to relieve the tension but then Kurloz banged on the door.

**DO NOT TAKE LONG.**

Gamzee’s cock was as soft as Kurloz’s bangs were hard. So Gamzee took a quick shower. 

When he got out, he didn’t put a towel around his waist. He was going to be naked around Kurloz and see how he reacted. After leaving the bathroom, he went to the living room and saw Kurloz was pumping ten pound weights. Normally, this wouldn’t affect Gamzee, but right now seeing those biceps flex, he felt his cock twitch.

“You getting all sweaty in your work clothes?” he asked in what he hoped sounded like a mocking tone. 

Kurloz didn’t answer and Gamzee wondered if Kurloz intended to be sweaty all day around him. Well, then Gamzee would be sweaty too. He went to the exercise room, got some weights, and started doing exercises naked in the living room. Kurloz soon stopped exercising.

**GET DRESSED. TIME TO LEAVE.**

“My work clothes be up in your room.”

**SO?**

“If I ain’t allowed in your room, you’ll have to escort me in.” He added a wink.

**STAY HERE.**

Kurloz went upstairs. Gamzee was put out for a moment but he decided to plump up his fat cock. Maybe that would catch Kurloz’s attention. Yet when Kurloz came downstairs, he just threw the clothes at Gamzee.

_I will be in the truck._

He then left like he said he would. Gamzee’s cock softened again. He put on his work clothes: a black short-sleeved tagged button-up and black jeans. In all this mess, he hadn’t eaten, so he grabbed a granola bar before leaving for the truck.

Kurloz drove Gamzee to Wicked Inks. They were silent. Gamzee angrily ate his granola bar. Kurloz parked the truck in the back. Kurloz’s other tattooists Skunky Steve and Big Brenda were at the back entrance when the Makaras came by. Kurloz unlocked the door and everyone got to work setting up shop. Nine o’clock came and the business opened. 

It was a normal workday, or at least it probably seemed that way to Skunk and BB, who did not know about the Church or the Makaras. Maybe they noticed that Kurloz never complimented Gamzee, but they weren’t paid enough to care. 

Gamzee kept it together. He only went to the bathroom to cry once. His dick twitched a few times but he did not get on the road to Bonerville. Things could have been worse. 

There was no praise for Gamzee when they closed up the shop that night, even though Gamzee thought he did everything perfectly. The Makaras went home. Gamzee had hopes that when they got into the privacy of their home Kurloz would be all over him but instead he went straight into the kitchen and started making dinner. 

During dinner, Gamzee tried making conversation, but Kurloz just ate silently. When dinner was over, Kurloz went upstairs. Gamzee followed him and actually tried to open the bedroom door but Kurloz again had locked it. Though it was useless, Gamzee banged on the door for five minutes. He just had to let out his frustration. A miracle did not happen. Kurloz did not open the door.

Gamzee went back downstairs. He washed his face in the kitchen sink before cleaning up. He wished Kurloz would come down and at least just thank him for doing this chore. He needed just one kind word from his cousin and adoptive father.

If only there was someone he could talk to about this. Everyone in the Church might say the same as Kurloz did and he definitely could not talk to anyone outside. For one dumb moment, he wished he could talk to Karkat. He wanted to confess everything to Karkat so Karkat could run away to Romania or wherever his family was from. However, helping Karkat escape would be too great a blasphemy.

Still, he took out his phone and opened Pesterchum on his phone.

terminallyCapricious (TC) began pestering  carcinoGeneticist (CG)

TC: hEy BrO wHaT’s Up?

Nothing happened yet. Gamzee put his phone down and instead picked up the bong. After he got everything ready, he got a ping.

CG: JUST ANOTHER CRAPPY DAY DEALING WITH CONTRACTORS UNTIL YOU PESTERED ME. WHAT’S UP WITH YOU?

Gamzee took a big toke before answering.

TC: jUsT 420.

CG: SO YOU’RE JUST HIGH. OKAY. GLAD WE GOT THAT LAID ON THE TABLE AND NO IMPORTANT CONVERSATION WILL BE HAD.

No important conversation? Gamzee could laugh, and he did. He took another toke. He felt cool and confident. Maybe he could tell Karkat something…anything?

TC: aCtUaLlY…

TC: tHeRe Be SoMeThIn I wAnNa TeLl YoU.

CG: YES?

Yet another toke. It now seemed all pointless. Why tell Karkat anything important?

CG: YES???

TC: I lOvE tHe WiNdY cItY.

CG: WELL, I AM SURPRISED YOU LIKE ANY PLACE OUTSIDE OF MICHIGAN BUT NOT SURPRISED ENOUGH TO NOT BE PISSED AT YOU. YOU MADE ME THINK YOU HAD SOME IMPORTANT NEWS.

TC: I dOn’T, sOrRy :o(

CG: YES, SAD CLOWN NOISE, NOW CAN WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE? LIKE THE FUCKING CONTRACTORS?

terminallyCapricious (TC) stopped pestering carcinoGeneticist (CG)

Gamzee could not tell Karkat. He could not even hint. He put the phone away and concentrated on smoking. The pot eased his nerves but did not make him happy. He just felt like a big useless lump. It was nice being a lump for an hour instead of a human being with a friend who would die soon. 

When his high was nearly over, he slunked upstairs and banged on Kurloz’s door just so he could say he tried.

“PLEASE…PLEASE…”

No response. He would have better luck banging on Meulin's door, if she was here. 

“Um…GOOD NIGHT.”

Gamzee slunked back down the stairs and prepared for bed. He turned off the lights and stared at his glowing posters as the THC wore out. What would the forgotten saints of that dead civilization would think? For that matter, what would Joseph Bruce and Joseph Ulster think? Gamzee was told they were only accidental conduits but surely they would have an opinion? Would they be pro-friend-killing?

He managed to fall asleep. In his dreams, he was that gray child. He would go about his life. Playing games with the few toys he had. Getting his own food from the poorly-stocked kitchen. Staring at the window all lonely-like. Nothing much different from his life as an Earth child. Yet on one wall, high up, was a framed picture and he’d see the words “Grand Highblood” and suddenly he’d fall awake with a terrible dread in his heart. This kept happening. He’d roll a quick tiny joint and smoke it to go back to sleep but this happened four times in one night. 

Gamzee was already awake when the banging came. He opened the door to see Kurloz.

Kurloz signed, _Are you ready to say yes?_

If Kurloz thought that would make Gamzee say yes, he thought wrong. This was just a sign Kurloz was more ready to cave than Gamzee was, and Messiahs know Gamzee was ready to cave. Kurloz had to need him too. Yet Gamzee also needed Karkat. He couldn’t be the one to kill Karkat.

Gamzee shook his head. To Gamzee’s disappointment, Kurloz just shrugged. He picked up some clothes from the ground and shoved them into Gamzee’s arms before walking off. Gamzee ran across the hall into the bathroom. He tried not to cry but he failed miserably. He stripped and got in the shower and cried there. He didn’t have the heart to try to masturbate. 

Unlike last morning, this morning went without event. He ate breakfast across from Kurloz and they did not speak. Kurloz and Gamzee went to the tattoo parlor and opened it up with the other employees. Then came the stream of customers.

Gamzee knew he didn’t have his head in the game. He finished a tattoo of Tweety Bird and it just looked off and though the customer thanked him, he knew he did wrong. Kurloz looked at the tattoo and he said nothing good or bad about it. Just gave a blank look. Gamzee wanted Kurloz to insult him with his electrolarynx or wave his hands with even worse words but there was nothing. Kurloz did task him with every other duty but making fresh tattoos and that seemed to send the message that he fucked up. Yet if Kurloz told Gamzee he fucked up with WORDS and not silence Gamzee could be happy.

So Gamzee wasn’t happy. He tried acting happy, like usual, but even Skunky Steve knew he wasn’t.

“You chill?” he asked.

“Chill as can be,” Gamzee answered as he pushed the broom over the same spot again.

Skunky whispered, “I know your cousin hates tobacco but maybe if you went out for a smoke…”

Gamzee hit the floor with his broom. “I’M CHILL, BRO.”

Skunky held up his hands. “Okay, whatever, dude.”

The day stretched out into forever. Every minute felt like it took an hour. Yet it had to be worth it. Kurloz had to be suffering too. Kurloz needed Gamzee’s affection as much as Gamzee needed his.

Then Meulin came in at lunchtime with a bento for Kurloz. Gamzee normally wouldn’t care about Kurloz being with Meulin, but when he bent down to kiss her, the floor of Wicked Ink could have opened up and swallowed them all to Hell. Gamzee ran to the bathroom and cried. Did Kurloz and Meulin plan this? Did Kurloz tell Meulin the task that had been dealt to Gamzee? Did Meulin think he should stop bitching and do it? Would she kill her best friend? Who was her best friend? What’s-her-name, Bethany? In any case, Kurloz could get affection and loving from other people while Gamzee was all alone. He didn’t even have Karkat. Gamzee cursed Karkat once before washing his face. 

He returned to the main room. Big Brenda and Skunky Steve were there, but Kurloz and Meulin were elsewhere.

“Where’d my motherfuckin’ lovebirds go?” Gamzee asked in what accidentally sounded too bitter a tone.

Big gestured with her shoulder. “They’re in the office.”

Gamzee looked over at the office. The blinds were drawn down. Meulin and Kurloz were together in an enclosed space where they could sign about him and what a bitch baby he was being because he couldn’t kill his best friend. They were probably kissing too.

“Oh, that be cool. Perfectly cool. Normal shit for two motherfuckers to do.”

Big lifted a pierced eyebrow. “Um, yeah? You okay?”

A customer came in at that moment, stopping Gamzee from not answering the question. She was a regular who was in for a touch-up and she asked for Big Brenda. Big Brenda went to work. Gamzee looked at Skunky and he simply shrugged. So Gamzee went to sweep the floor once again. He’d go near the office but of course he heard nothing. 

Eventually, Kurloz and Meulin came out of the office. They weren’t adjusting their clothes, which was a relief to Gamzee. Meulin blew a kiss to Kurloz and then turned to Gamzee.

“Good afternoon and good luck!” she yelled.

“Thanks, sis,” Gamzee replied with cracking. 

She left without telling Gamzee what she meant by “good luck”. Kurloz then turned to Gamzee.

_Get back to work._

Gamzee trudged back off to the main area. Soon after, a customer came to fix a tattoo she got elsewhere. It wasn’t a difficult job. Gamzee got the inks ready and yet in his distraction he knocked a dish over. Something cracked. Before the ink had finished spreading on the floor, he stood up and threw another dish on that same floor. Though everyone’s eyes were on him, he was looking at Kurloz in the corner. Kurloz’s impassive face just mad Gamzee angrier. 

“You gonna spank me, cuz?” Gamzee asked mockingly.

Kurloz pointed to Gamzee and then pointed at the office window. He then turned to go to the office. Gamzee looked around at the shocked co-workers and customers.

“Sorry,” Gamzee said softly before he followed Kurloz into the office. 

The office was neat, as usual, and the shades were still drawn down. Kurloz went to the door and double-locked in before sitting down on his swivel chair. Gamzee stood before him with his hands clasped together like a errant child. 

Kurloz signed, _Explain yourself. In ASL._

Gamzee knew he had no excuses. He was just a vortex of rage at that moment and he wanted his cousin and adoptive father to have some sort of a reaction. Any reaction. 

_I was angry._

_Why were you angry?_

Did he even need to ask why? Gamzee hesitated and Kurloz went on.

_I should be angry. You have refused me._

Gamzee refused Kurloz? But wasn’t it the other way around? Yet maybe Gamzee wasn’t seeing it from Kurloz’s point of view. Gamzee had hurt Kurloz.

_I’m sorry._

_If you are sorry, you should say yes._

Oh god, Gamzee wanted to say yes. Anything to stop this pain. He would even say it out loud.

“Yes!”

_Yes to what? Sign it._

_Yes, I will kill Crabby Patty._

Kurloz cringed at that custom sign. He fingerspelled K-A-R-K-A-T with his right hand, then he made an H with his left hand and forcefully hit his chin. _Heretic._

Gamzee signed, _I will kill the Heretic._

Kurloz nodded and smiled wide. 

_You are a good boy and my son._

Gamzee’s heart could have burst.

 _I love you,_ Gamzee signed. 

_Show me you love me._

Kurloz unzipped his pants. Gamzee looked to the door and then to the window. It seemed safe. He’d have to keep his moans down, which would not be an easy task. Already he was hardening. 

Gamzee knelt on the carpet in front of Kurloz’s chair. He got between Kurloz’s legs and Kurloz petted his neck. Gamzee could have just melted into that touch alone. Yet he had a task to do. He fished Kurloz’s cock out of his pants. There was already a vein going along the shaft, telling him that Kurloz truly did desire him. Without any teasing, Gamzee put his mouth around the cock. Even though it had only been a few days, it seemed like he had forgotten the taste and feel. Was it always so ridiculously thick? 

His jaw hurt but that was not why he started crying. He was just so happy. Finally, he was getting what he wanted. Kurloz was touching his neck, shoulders, and back. He was reacting to what Gamzee was doing. Gamzee could see him smiling and feel him grow hard in his mouth. Gamzee’s cock pressed against his fly. It felt like it could burst out of his pants. Yet he was doing this all for Kurloz. Kurloz fingerspelled I-L-U and Gamzee had to moan around his cock.

After some period of time, Kurloz pushed Gamzee’s head down his cock and came in his throat. When his aftershocks were done, he pushed Gamzee’s head off. Gamzee looked up at him as he signed.

_You did a good job._

He did something right. It seemed sometimes Gamzee could never do anything right, but this time he succeeded.

Kurloz then motioned for Gamzee to get up. Gamzee did, and Kurloz undid Gamzee’s zipper and quickly got to work on the erection that sprung out. At this point, Gamzee had absolutely no stamina and he soon came with his knuckles shoved in his mouth. Kurloz took his mouth off of Gamzee’s cock with an exaggerated pop and pushed his chair back. 

As each Makara adjusted themselves, Gamzee had a sinking feeling he’d made the wrong choice. He’d sold his best friend for a mess of cum. No, Karkat was not really his friend. What had Karkat even done for him recently? He owed his life to Kurloz.

 _You will kill the Heretic?_ Kurloz signed. He had added that question mark.

 _I will shoot the Heretic in the head with a gun._ Gamzee gestured with his own head.

_We will use a bow and arrow and shoot his chest._

Gamzee gulped. That sounded realer than a gun. No sacrifice was killed with a gun. 

_Yes, a bow and arrow._ Gamzee echoed back Kurloz’s signs.

 _You have done this before._ Kurloz’s hands moved slowly over. _You can do it again._

How many people had Gamzee sacrificed? He couldn’t remember the number. The sacrifices were all strangers. Gamzee nodded despite his anxiety.

_Go out and do your job._

Gamzee nodded. He left the office and went to the main area. The ink had been mopped up and the customer was gone. Steven and Brenda looked pissed.

“What happened with you?” Brenda asked, “We had to give the customer a rack of body jewelry as an apology!”

Steve added, “I had to mop up all that damn ink!”

Gamzee held up his hands. “Sorry, ninja and ninjette, I buy y’all a round next time we goes out.”

Steve huffed. “More like two rounds.”

Brenda mumbled “Kurloz’s pet” and Gamzee knew she would never know how happy that made him. He was indeed beloved by Kurloz. As he sat down by his bench, he whistled a tune. The other artists looked at him funny, but they were distracted by another customer coming in. After that, the day went without incident. 

When they were closing up the parlor, Skunky asked, “So, Gamzee, you coming to our spot tonight?”

Gamzee looked at Kurloz, who shook his head, before turning back to Steve.

“Sorry, I got to get my sweet ass home.”

Skunky and Big moaned. 

Big said, “Then you ain’t really gonna buy us a round.”

“I am gonna get that motherfuckin’ round done real good, but tonight’s no dice.”

After the parlor was closed, the Makaras got in the truck. Now that Gamzee was alone again with Kurloz, the distraction of customers and cleaning went away and he was reminded again of the Church business. He wished he could talk about it with Kurloz but their ride was silent.

When they’d got into the house, Kurloz crushed Gamzee in a kiss, so there was no chance to talk. Kurloz led Gamzee into Gamzee’s old bedroom and they fell into the bed. Kurloz rapidly unbuttoned Gamzee’s shirt and pants and threw them off. Then he slowly worshiped Gamzee’s body. Every now and then he’d stop to sign compliments.

_You are beautiful. You are sexy. Your tattoos are exquisite. Your body is muscular. Your meat is huge. You are like me. You are perfect._

“Please,” Gamzee groaned, “Put it in me.”

Yet Kurloz took his time. Finally, got to it. He undressed and his dick was as hard as Gamzee’s. He opened a drawer that thankfully had some old lube in it and used that on his dick. At that point, though, Gamzee would have taken it dry. He plunged into Gamzee and fucked him hard. It didn’t take long for Gamzee to come. After that, Kurloz took slow, steady strokes, stopping to sign yet more things. 

_We will do this together. Thank you for saying yes. I need you. Crabby Patty doesn’t._

“Yeah, ah! I know!” Gamzee said with a gasp. 

Though Gamzee wished Kurloz would never withdraw, eventually he did finish. He then got dressed.

_Sleep peacefully, beautiful. I will make dinner._

“Sure,” Gamzee answered.

Yet despite feeling exhausted, Gamzee didn’t sleep. He was thinking of “Crabby Patty”. Surprisingly after such wonderful loving from Kurloz, Gamzee wondered yet again what it would be like to have sex with Karkat. He’d been told by a very good source that Karkat had a small dick but he didn’t care. He wanted Karkat inside of him so bad. He also wanted to be inside Karkat, though he wasn’t exactly a top. He wished they could mutually penetrate each other, but they’d been reborn in the wrong bodies. Well, they were born in the wrong bodies in their last lives too. 

Kurloz always told Gamzee that Karkat wasn’t a true friend, but he was still some sort of friend. Karkat may have complained about Gamzee, but he never told him to fuck off. There had to be some sort of love in Karkat.

Well, love or no love, Gamzee had agreed to kill Karkat. _Directly_ kill Karkat. There were no backsies. However, could he not ask for some time with Karkat? 

When Gamzee felt he’d done enough thinking, he went across the hall and took a shower. When he was done, he put back on his work clothes and found Kurloz putting the finishing touches on dinner. 

“Hey, Loz, can I ask a favor?”

Kurloz nodded while holding a salad bowl. 

“Can I spend up a day or two with Karkat?”

Kurloz shrugged as if to ask why.

“Just socializin’ and being friendly and maybe…making out.”

Kurloz looked ready to drop the salad bowl, but instead he put it on the counter.

_Why would you do that? Do you love him?_

“Not in the way I love you, cuz, but…I would like to fuck him.”

_He is short and fat._

Kurloz exaggerated the “fat” sign to a degree Gamzee thought ridiculous, but the “short” sign was spot-on. 

“Still, he be cute as a button.”

_Would he have sex with you?_

“Why would a motherfucker not fuck me if I ain’t sexy?”

Kurloz took a deep breath. 

_He does not appreciate you._

“But maybe I could get him appreciatin’ me for a few minutes.”

_He will not do it willingly._

“Then…then…I guess I’ll…”

Kurloz grabbed his electrolarynx.

**YOU WILL HAVE TO RAPE THE MOTHERFUCKER.**

“Holy shit…”

**YOU ALREADY ARE GOING TO KILL HIM.**

“Yeah, but…”

**I WILL RAPE KARKAT VANTAS.**

“Man, you just called him all fat and short!”

**IT DOES NOT MATTER IF I’M ATTRACTED TO THE HERETIC. I WILL TAKE AND SHAME HIM. YOU WILL JOIN ME.**

“I’d like to try to up and consensually take him first.”

**TRY IT. BUT THAT WON’T STOP ME.**

“Ummm…have you done raping before?”

**IT’S NOT REALLY RAPE. HE WILL BE AN OBJECT. A UTENSIL.**

“A Fleshlight?”

Kurloz shrugged and nodded.

Gamzee chuckled awkwardly. “So I guess we gonna fuck him from both ends.”

Seemingly satisfied by this comment, Kurloz put his electrolarynx away and finished setting the table. They then ate dinner as if they hadn’t just been discussing rape. Still, Gamzee did think about the conversation. He had been horrified by the suggestion he rape his old friend, yet it was also a little exciting. He’d have to get that extra energy out with Kurloz.

After dinner, Kurloz and Gamzee sat on the couch and talked about the sacrifice: who was involved, where it would be, and how it would take place. The practical talk somehow devolved into dirty talk. 

**I WANT TO SEE YOU TAKE THE SACRIFICE,** Kurloz said with one hand on his electrolarynx and one hand pawing Gamzee’s crotch, **I WANT TO SEE IT GET YOUR BIG MAKARA ENDOWMENT.**

“Fffuck,” Gamzee hissed as he hardened. 

Kurloz took his hand away. **BUT WE DO IT TOGETHER.**

Gamzee nodded. “Together.” 

* * *

terminallyCapricious (TC) began pestering  carcinoGeneticist (CG)

TC: hEy, BrO, wHaT’s CoOkIn?

CG: SAME OLD, SAME OLD.

CG: WAIT, HOW ARE THINGS GOING WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND?

TC: bOyFrIeNd?

CG: YOU’VE FORGOTTEN YOUR BOYFRIEND? HOW MUCH WEED DO YOU SMOKE? I MEAN TAVROS “WHEELS” NITRAM.

TC: oH, i GoT sAd NeWs AbOuT tHaT. 

TC: wE bRoKe Up. :o(

CG: SHIT? THAT’S FUCKING TERRIBLE! I THOUGHT I HAD BAD NEWS TODAY WITH THE PLUMBER BUT YOU’VE GOT IT WORSE.

CG: I’LL HAVE TO DO SOMETHING TO CHEER YOU UP.

TC: rEaLlY?

CG: YES, REALLY. I’M YOUR FRIEND, REMEMBER? NOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

TC: hOw BoUt CaMpIn? 

* * *

That night, Gamzee slept peacefully, holding Kurloz in his arms.

**Author's Note:**

> To Gamzee:  
> 


End file.
